Welcome to Vision Today!
I love sailing,hiking, personal motivation, business and sharing what I love with others! Feel free to check out all my exciting adventures at my websites below!
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This week I want to share with you:
To a Beautiful Marriage
These are things I've learned in 27 years of marriage. I'm not a therapist or a phycologist by any means. However, I do have a few thoughts to share. Here is the first:
Marriage is one of those things where at first you feel an incredible amount of love and excitement for you spouse - or at least it should be. For me it took about five years for this feeling to wear down. Eventually at some point, you may feel like you know them so well that you take them for granted, or the fire of passion is lessened and your feelings change.
At that time I asked God to help me and one evening as I was watching a water fountain, I saw something that interested me. As the ripples on the pool increased, so the beauty seemed to increase too. It was then that God spoke to me in my heart and shared with me that as the years in our marriage passed by, so could the beauty increase too.
This is so because when you say you love someone, in the back of their mind they are wondering when and how you will break your word. The longer you keep your word and the stronger your relationship gets, the more you destroy that subconscious doubt. I don't know if you can ever really destroy that doubt completely but you can sure put it behind so many walls that a person can almost forget!
Things naturally deteriorate - unless you have a passion to work at it and make it beautiful. Marriage takes work but it first of all takes a desire. Without some form of desire you won't work at it. If you have lost your desire in your spouse, then let your desire in Gods love and goodness spur you on. But in order for that to happen, there has to be some recognition and thankfulness that God has given you everything good (including your spouse) and that God should be the ultimate receiver of our love and adoration.
Sometimes people get overwhelmed at the amount of work it may take to keep a relationship healthy and growing. But a heavy load can be divided into bits and pieces that can be done easily in each day. Here are some things that have to be done:
I mean basically you need to keep watch over your attitude. Your heart is key in this. And taking time every day with God, helps you to keep focus on how God sees you and loves you and wants to make you stronger. Sometimes God allows you to go through pain to grow. Not taking a little time each day to be with God is basically like a branch cutting itself slowly away from the tree.
If you cut yourself off from your creator, your attitude will eventually also deteriorate. You lose focus, vision, Gods unconditional love, forgiveness and patience - things you are going to need each day to bestow on your spouse and others in your life. We also have our own habits. These can be our downfall too and it's important for us to work on this also.
There are other things you need to be and do but I don't have the time to go into those. But before I leave this, it is helpful to remember to try and love your spouse in the way they feel loved - even if it's a little painful to do. It's also probably not too hard to find out how they want to be loved as they will probably subtly cry out for it giving you clues throughout your day. Some call this acknowledging their "love language."
Let's talk about desire, lust and infatuation. I'm not really an authority in this area but I do have something to share for men and some of it may apply to women too. Basically what you put in your mind will come out. If you play around with pornography, you are playing around with unfaithfulness and taking passion and desire away from your spouse. But in addition, men are turned on primarily by sight and it's hard to keep your eyes from not looking too hard. The key is control over your mind to not lust and instead focus on desiring your wife. Your commitment has to be solid. True to God, true to her. I mean, you can go after other women and eventually find yourself alone and without real lasting love. Real love is extremely powerful and with it you will find happiness. But lust will tear you down like how termites destroy a wooden house.
One more thing. If you play around with pornography and lust too long, eventually you will go after other woman. And this begins the cycle of unfaithfulness. If you eventually divorce your wife, watch out because the desire and excitement you are feeing now with this other woman will most likely disappear after the same amount of time it took to disappear with your wife - maybe sooner or later but probably sooner.
Desire is something that is a gift from God and nurtures your life.But lust starts as desire but has no limits. It grows apart from Gods laws and really apart from His beautiful design. It feels awesome at first but then it destroys slowly and ultimately. Infatuation is fun but it lacks true love and understanding. It is deceiving.
Building anything on lust or infatuation will eventually get washed away and might drown you with it. I hope I have given you a few solid things to base your marriage on. If you would like to ask me any questions regarding this, please feel free to email me.
To your beautiful marriage!
~Albie
SMILE :-D
SailingWithAlbie @ Gmail (dot) com
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For those couples so eager to call it quits and throw in the towel on your relationship because everything isn't 'perfect'...here is some food for thought:
"Lifelong commitment is not what most people think it is. It's not waking up every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It's not cuddling in bed until both of you fall asleep. It's not a clean home filled with laughter and love making every day.
It's someone who steals all the covers and snores, it's slammed doors and a few harsh words at times.
It's stubbornly disagreeing and giving each other the silent treatment until your hearts heal, and then forgiveness.
It's coming home to the same person every day that you know loves and cares about you in spite of, and because of, who you are.
It's laughing about the one time you accidentally did something stupid.
It's about dirty laundry and unmade beds.
It's about helping each other with the hard work of life.
It's about swallowing the nagging words instead of saying them out loud.
It's about eating the easiest meal you can make and sitting down together at a late hour because you both had a crazy day.
It's when you have an emotional breakdown and your love lays down with you and holds you, and tells you everything is going to be okay. And you believe them.
It's about still loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane.
Loving someone isn't always easy, sometimes it's hard. But, it is amazing and comforting and one of the best things you will ever experience."
If you are blessed to have a wonderful partner in your life, then share this with someone.
By Thomas Augustine or anonymous
EMAIL ME BACK AND LET'S TALK!
Albie Derbyshire
877-521-5505
cell: 626-379-5692
sailingwithalbie@gmail.com
Skype: SailingwithAlbie
